Have you ever found yourself on the verge of great success, and see things start to go wrong? It begins with an uneasy feeling. The smallest detail bother you. Reliable people start worrying about making mistakes. "What's wrong with them? Could not they see how important is it that they are so careless?"
It becomes difficult to concentrate. You find yourself procrastinating over things that you know will lead to success. You say something stupid in an important meeting.
"What's wrong with me?"
You get into an argument with your spouse and friends, who are wondering why you are so "sensitive."
All of these are classic symptoms of fear of success - a condition which is all the more dangerous because it is so unpredictable. You want to be successful, right? You're sweating blood to get to this point, so why would you sabotage yourself?
But in our success-oriented culture, we are not too concerned about the fact that success can be really scary. We're used to seeing fear as the enemy, so we do our best to ignore it and soldier. Which means fear remains conscious, expressing itself in the kind of "stupid" behavior above.
So what can you do about it?
Sometimes all you need to do is "outside" afraid to admit to yourself that you are, in fact, afraid. Paradoxically, it may have the effect of helping you relax.
"OK, I'm nervous, which is pretty normal considering what is at stake."
"Right, what's next?"
And sometimes it helps to focus on what you fear, and find ways to cope with the threat. Here are three versions of the classic fear of success, and what to do about them.
1. Not afraid Coping With Success
As Hugh MacLeod suggests, success is more complex than failure. On some level, it is more convenient to stay in a familiar situation, even if he did not feel great on the surface. But achieving success (however you define it) means you are entering uncharted territory. You put yourself out there to be scrutinized and criticized, and opening up to new pressures and demands.
It is only human to wonder if you will be up to the challenge. Most little worried you'd rather not take the risk.
What to do about it:
Although the idea of success can be daunting, the reality is generally much easier to cope with than what you had before. If you have enough sense to keep yourself going during the tough times, you might be able to do the same thing with a good time. Yes, you have to make changes and learn new things, but you're quite creative and adaptive to do that.
If you have doubts, remind yourself of all the success of the additional resources will bring you:
A boost your confidence
A larger networks, more powerful
A healthy bank balance
A growing reputation that opens new doors
2. Afraid of Selling Out
The material has a complicated relationship with success. On the one hand, you are not going to 99U reading if you are not ambitious for success, on the other hand, you do not want to succeed at all costs - especially the loss of your artistic integrity.
Whatever your choice, if you achieve any kind of success the public, it is a sad fact that someone, somewhere will think (and even say) bad things about you - ". Sell" including allegations
What to do about it:
First, accept that you will never please everyone. Slander is part of the price of success.
Second, make sure you feel comfortable with your choice. Make a list of all the things that you would consider "selling out," and that you are not prepared to do. Then keep the list handy. As long as you do not do these things on the list, you can look at yourself in the mirror. Whatever anyone else says about you.
3. Being afraid of Others
Because we used to put successful people at the stake, the idea of being "one of them" can feel scary. You start to worry that you will turn out to be someone else, someone your friends and family will not recognize and will not like it.
This fear has some basis in reality. After all, if you are happy with the person you are now, why do you want to change? But it was also founded on a false premise: that changes about to leave the old man in the back and replace it with a new one entirely. Change is more complex than that. You must be more complex than that.
What to do about it:
Instead of thinking about change in terms of the reduction (losing your old self) think that the form of the addition. You will discover and develop new aspects to your personality - add who you are and what you bring to the world.
Getting used to a new role you will be amused and interesting. And you can still be the person you always visit family and friends. Spending time with them will feel like slipping on a comfortable old jeans after spending time in your new trendy clothes. Themselves more = more choice and a richer life.